I want to start by saying I have planned nothing in this journey yet, I am clearly on a path of love, inner awakening of God in each step, so there is a plan laid out with-in. The more I understood I did not have the answers the more I understand. Not understand in terms of finally knowing, understand in terms of freedom in embracing it all and bringing it all back to loving creation. There is a willingness to let go each time a knowing surfaces with-in, I let go to allow the unknown knowing to surface.
I have been doing Light Work for the past 17 years. This inner calling came forward while I was living in San Francisco immersed in a career that was based in the physical world of beauty. I was a wardrobe stylist for fashion and advertising. This career was a wonderful place to be in training. My life is my curriculum. I am still in process, yet I AM.
I have always had an ability to hear and see spirit, experiencing the awareness of the unseen. With this comes a sensitivity in the world, experiencing others feelings, thoughts, and the collective as if they were all mine. I felt disconnected to my center most of the time. The sense of separateness prevailed in my life, I was trying to manage others feelings as my own, this did not work so well, although we are all one. What we do inside ourselves with what is going on is the journey. I was trying to handle others feelings on the outer, so I could be okay.
The wonderful thing about experiencing others this way is that I realized how much we are all mirrors of each other, not exactly but, the essence that shows up for us to experience through others, does reflect something we each carry in ourselves. The gifts begin to show themselves in our own reactions to what others bring to us or what we bring to ourselves for our own learning and growth.
I have always loved my Mr Magoo, my life always seems to show up for me without me knowing it. and then I know, only to not know, keeping the doors open to the next knowing. I step and there is something there to guide me to the next place. This is not always an easy step but, before I know it, there has been purpose and support in each move.
(When your life is ready all will conspire to bring you what you need. Pay attention, when your heart opens, it is truth.)
I went to a woman in Sonoma for a massage one day, when she started working I began to see colors along with other things I had not seen since I was a child. She had a gift to align with the light which I resonated with. I found my heart and life started changing, I wanted to know myself. I became aware I had not been in myself for a long time, that is aware of my soul self. I had felt separate from myself as I was trying to be loved from the outside. It has always been within. I went to her every weekend for a year. She massaged and we would talk about what came up for me, if it was a block or negative I would let go and clear. This opened me up even more to my own light connection,(intuition) that was the good news / bad news. More information was coming and I had no idea how to be in the world and what to do with it all. I did not have a regular meditation practice at the time. I was ready.
A friend was visiting from LA, she wanted to go to China Town to a Feng Shui shop she knew of. We walked over to the alley and as I turned the corner a feeling of home came over me. The shop was tiny and jammed full of statues, beads and incense etc. I was very confused by the energy and wandered aimlessly around. I looked up at one point and found myself standing in front of a large Buddhist altar. My friend rushed over and told me I was not supposed be there, a man appeared from the back and calmly said it was okay. My friend hustled me out saying it was not okay.
We went to the counter to pay for what she had found. I kept hearing to ask about Chi- Gong, I resisted, until I felt a physical push forward and it just came out of my mouth. “Do you know of a Chi Gong Master I could work with”. The women looked at the man standing there and began to speak in Chinese, it all sounded and seemed frantic in their exchange. The man walked away, disappeared, and came back a few minutes later. He said “You do not need Chi- Gong you need meditation”. Another man appeared from the back and stood by the alter watching. I was told to come back in a month, then Raymond would work with me. I did not know who Raymond was but I felt so open and met I decided I would return.
I returned a month later, as I walked up to the shop Raymond was standing outside and said I have been waiting for you. He took me to the back, I sat on the floor in front of the Alter and he showed me how he wanted me to meditate. He did not speak English very well but it worked. I want to say I am not a Buddhist but, I spent 2 years sitting in meditation in the back of that little shop with people giving offerings, prayer, and shopping while I meditated in the middle of it all. This was amazing training and expansion for me. My insights became more clear and purposeful. Raymond was a Buddhist Master from Burma, who had come to the US to integrate in a non traditional way through Spiritual Meditation, which was from his Buddhist sect.
He said “His Master told him to come here. The days of studying each scripture and sitting outside of the masters cave are past. Things are more here now and moving fast, so a strong meditation practice is the path.” I would concur this is our inner journey, not someone else ‘s, it is now, although there are people who can help open your doors. Raymond opened up my spiritual connection in a profound way. I was not done there.
I now was getting direct information about people and their issues. This was coming from spiritual guidance, truly a voice. I thought I was crazy at first but, it kept coming in a clear and loving. My heart would open then I knew it was true. Someone would come to the set having back pain and I would be guided to walk over to them, put my hand on them and ask what happened to them that morning or whatever the directive was. They would talk, cry, and clear. This is how I started. Of coarse this validated the guidance.The process has expanded and I no longer touch. This became a pretty busy way to work on these photo shoots and I was getting very overwhelmed. This was a pretty busy way to live in general. I must say I loved doing it, and was learning so much every day.
I knew enough to take care of myself and had found a network chiropractor that I really loved. He has his own amazing gifts and was one place I could go , share and be met. One day I had a massage by someone I did not know and ended up doing work on him. I came out of the massage very upset because I was there for me and did not know how to stop the information that came in. It was his dead Great Grand Father and he was very pushy . I now know that if it is there and it is in the light, I can help but, it is not my responsibility.
(There is a big difference in helping and taking things on as a duty. The light will take care of everyone I just hold the light, Spirit does the rest, so can you.)
I did not understand this at the time and left there frustrated. I went to see the chiropractor as I was clear I needed some sort of help and guidance. He handed me a name, Robert Waterman, he said call him and sign up for a class. I was so in need and I trusted Peter, I went home and called.
I signed up for a 6 month Mystery School in Santa Fe, NM. I had no idea what I was getting into, or who this guy was but, this seemed to be the way I did things. So I went, it was the beginning of a long and trusting mentor friendship for me.
I mentioned my life is my curriculum, as I become more aligned in Spirit within myself the Light is Spirit, so the Light work I share and my life continues to become more sensitive to the higher vibrations of God. This allows more flow of spirit. The experience is always evolving and changing. ” This is an inside job.”
While I was attending a second Mystery School I met a Women in the class who was just one of those people you know and trust right away. She did not say much yet, I knew she knew I knew. One day in class she brought a few of us a book as a gift. Momentum Letting Love Lead Authored by John Roger and Paul Kaye. When I received this book something began to pull at me , knowing there was something more to add to what I was doing. I do not even think I read the book but, turned to the back right away, by the way I do that, I go to the last page first. I might read it or just absorb it. In this book I found information on the Author John Roger, and MSIA. I could not stop thinking about it, I found more on the website and in my usual way, excited and open, I ordered something called Discourses. Well 14 years later … onward and upward is the best way I can explain this continued spiritual practice, John Roger founded MSIA. This is about Love, becoming Living Love while in this human experience. To quote someone ” This path is not for the faint of Heart.”I Like to add it is for the Big of Heart. I do not promote this I am only sharing my story as we all have our own story to walk. I am in deep gratitude to John Roger for what he holds, shares , does, and did. He Transitioned in October 2014.
This life and work can be challenging and the support of teachers is important.( My path has had a magical weaving of teachers and practitioners helping me open up to my inner God Song. ) These relationships with others on this journey are important as we are in constant change and growth. This is about our own inner spiritual movement. No one can do this for us but…can hold doors open to assist us.
I can only say that this organic life process is an amazing education. My teachers whether they have been formal or the people I live life with, have all been perfect, always evolving and expanding as life does.
The joy I find in my work with people is that we all are evolving and as this unfolds, nurtures, and aligns for you . I too align.
We are all reflections of our creations to each other, at least in essence. Through the process of opening up to my Light work with people, I am also clearing blocks and coming more into my Divine Self knowing. I committed to this work because I found that it is a way of life that comes naturally and lovingly.
I am grateful to keep evolving through myself with all of my clients and friends. I gave up the styling work and live in Carpinteria,Ca. I travel to New York, Los Angeles, SunValley and San Francisco with my work. I work with people privately, I offer workshops and retreats through-out the year. The offerings continue to expand in loving light. I am in deep gratitude for this opportunity to share in this light life experience this way.
Love and Light
To be continued.
To be continued….