I want to share a process that I have been in for years. Still having opportunities.
I live in a diverse neighborhood. When COVID came, more people moved into the homes around me. It became very crowded in their homes and on the street. More emotions and frequency of people trying to get along in tight spaces.
The polishing of keeping a loving boundary and the influence of the psychic frequency that changed here has been a strengthener, not always easy to lift and hold in peace and love. I found the places in me that were experiencing powerlessness to negativity.
If you have seen West Side Story, I’m doing a spoiler in sharing if you haven’t. Sorry. After there was the shootings of Maria’s loved ones, she encounters the young man who became wrapped up in the fight. and shot her love. He was not really in the middle of it, but was pulled into the sides in anger, then shot the person he had been told was the enemy. Families and ethnic separation, countries, streets, towns, etc., all have a sense of identity separate from others. We really feel and believe this is true. That is the design/illusion of the planet. This story was about a neighborhood. It reflects all of us inside and out.What I want to share is Maria, who saw only love, fell apart in grief and anger, took the gun from the young man, and said, ” I never knew how to hate until you taught me.” She turned the gun on him, did not shoot, then herself, did not shoot, then dropped the gun and wept. I wept when I saw this for the millionth time. Something in me remembered that moment of giving up love because all around me it seemed hopeless, hurt, abandoned, or more.. Turning the gun on someone is turning the gun on yourself. shutting off your love flow to survive. It is a beautiful offering to look inside and see how you have chosen this. No judgment, only compassion and forgiveness. We forget what we are and begin to move into separation inside as we experience this world, micro and macro. We can reclaim ourselves through awareness and compassion for ourselves, healing in Grace those places that give up or forget Love inside. Then, through those eyes, we have that for others. There is no other.
Another element of what I have been experiencing and watching is addiction. drugs, alcohol, and smoking. I am from a big family, and lots of drugs and drinking were part of my experience.. When I was 18, I was still living at home and pretty lost inside. I was partying a lot. Not present in me, nor really connecting with loved ones. I came home late one night, and ironically, I had been unwittingly drugged. I knew inside this was a turning point. When I entered my parents’ house, my Mother called out and told me to get out of her house now. This was not negotiable. My sister had attempted suicide that night and was brought home. My Mother was full to say the least.
I called a friend, and she allowed me to live with her and her family for a bit. I continued to drink too much. This was a kind person, and it was temporary. I was really hurt and upset with my Mom, and so was she with me. I have worked on my process of believing I had been abandoned and more. Just recently, Grace entered me. Addiction is something a person has to choose out of. My Mother Loved herself and me enough to do this. I look at that inside me now and I see how strong she was, but also how I had to walk this life I chose and choose to learn and strengthen my Love for me and let that lead my life. The sweetness that is coming alive in me, as I have allowed Love to lead this experience back into the Beloved I am and she is, goes beyond words. I am grateful.
Sometimes we think love is staying in the negative, or supporting the negative. What if you consider that we all have a Light that can ignite within? What if we have to turn back to ourselves in Love first? We can’t carry anyone that way. We can reflect and be a frequency of Love. They or we have to turn to the Love and field of healing to receive and expand. We are strong Love. We forget. That is okay. We are also pulled into remembrance. Love expands in us in Spirit, through Spirit, and we let go. Relax, forgive yourself. Love and allow it to reveal. It is a flow of God’s Infinite Love we are all made of.
Be grateful for those who held in Love even when it appeared to be a no, not anymore. Take a look inside and see what you reclaimed in Love, not righteousness. Give yourself the gift of a stepping stone instead of victim. Thank whoever played their part. Put the gun down and lift in Loving Light. e Gratefu lin Love to you and all involved.
You are Beloved – There is no other – Only ONE…
In Lovng Service
Christi
christi mider 